I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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