i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So apparently I’m into choking now
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
