my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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