I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
