you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
