Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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