yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
