Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
