Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
