I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
