I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You took a bar mat shot.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
