I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
