Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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