adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
