I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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