on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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