ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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