If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
