there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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