Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
