i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
