Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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