wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
