i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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