every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
