You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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