Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize