Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
