I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I love you.
Bad choice
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