I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
