if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
