As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
