I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
this is an emotional support booty call
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
