So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize