I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What a dumb baby whore.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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