It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
