let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i drank out of a bidet.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
