I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
