My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
