After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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