Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
