My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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