dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My room smells like vodka and shame
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I lost the right to judge tonight
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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