He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
