Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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