that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
