Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
