Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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