Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
