on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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