I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
