I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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