You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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