we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
