If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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