We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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