i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
