Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
