That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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