Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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